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ok      Empty ok

on 4/17/2015, 9:28 pm
i started 'spriting' a very long time ago as some of you may know. According to my first ever youtube account, I started back in December of 2008. I remember I got into spriting because my friend had showed me SMBZ episodes, and I was like wow that's insane. Then i later found out, wow, sprite animation? I could do that too. I could make my own super cool series just like SMBZ!!!!! I was your typical paint animator, and I don't really remember much from these times to tell you a lot. I just remember my only friend from around this time was Bigarceus. I started venturing out in the spriting world and made friends with some random mexican who isn't Granny.

Unlike the majority of you, I didn't start out my spriting career with The Spritas. I went more in the direction of sonic FC sites. I joined plenty of them, like Novally's site where I apparently met SXR but I have no recollection of this at all, RoTS, RS, the one site Takeshii owned, etc. However, I did join the original Spritas youtube group very late into that trend right before groups died and even then I didn't really interact with anyone in it. But yeah, back to sonic FC sites, I met some people who became good? friends but then our friendship sort of developed rifts later on. These were special friends to me however, the most significant names being Kai, Kratos, Strike, Chronos (mayb we didnt reele interract), and Xen. I developed really close friendships (or I'd like to assume they were) and despite how those relationships all went awry, I still think highly of them. Somewhere along the way, I joined this site back in 2009 on my original account, but I posted like 5 times and never went back to it.

But yeah I got sidetracked no1cur, I spent most of my time on sonic FC sites, and my personal life wasn't going to great. I was very anti-social, had a great deal of self loathing, both of which caused me to become a very jaded person. Spriting became my escape from this. I remember I was kind of well known on spriting sites for being a "troll" on sonic FC sites. Infact, some of my the earliest times I can actually remember is me trolling with Kratos. It was very cash and super funny to me. My irl self was in shambles, but my internet self found a great escape from all these problems. Anyways, during this time I sort of started my intellectual pretentious nerd phase and prided myself on being smarter than randumbs. I unfortunately met evilagram during this phase, and that turned me into a full blown pretentious asshole that dubbed me a troll by many people. Unfortunately, I was never able to evaluate how meaningless all of my interractions with him were and how pointless whatever reasons I found him to be cool were, so I sort of just moddled myself in his image (I actually have a bad habit of doing this with many people on the internet, this is mainly because I don't really have any strong identity, opinions, etc.). Unfortunately, I came back to this site because his presence had started spreading to here too, and I was dubbed a troll here once more and banned. Later, he vanished, I realized I was dumb for trying to be like him, and came back to this site after making ammends with people.

Note: there's a time lapse in here, because at this point in type I had Eric, DarkZero, Patt, etc. all on MSN but I don't remember how I came about adding all of them at all.

Anyways uh, I got into The Spritas more, sonic FC sites were kinda dying out for whatever reason. I'm pretty sure these both happened at separate times but I can't recollect the time of these events very well so I'm going to assume they were around the same time period. Anyways, this site was like crack to me. It was literally just what I needed the more isolated and withdrawn I became. I remember all the great times, those group things on MSN, the omgpop spritas game nights, etc. Literally, this site was soooo good. I remember my first real friend here was DarkZero for whatever raisin. Oddly enough all I can remember about him was that he sent me a bunch of porn and he had a huge hard on for drum line. But yeah, I started getting back into YouTube and shit, and I became the very notorious diademmaster45.

It was during this time I met Rocky, literally the best paint animator of all time. He was a really interesting kinda person to me, like, he was an intellectual, but he wasn't very pretentious and he was VERY laid back and chill. I think he was a sonic FC guy too so I was like wow he's cool. I saw a chatango link on his thing, and bam, I joined and started becoming friends with him after being dubbed a stalker by him and granny. Boy, when I tell you granny and I did not like each other back then I am not joking. He loathed me, and I guess it was a pretty mutual feeling back at him. Despite our mutual dislike, I still hung out with Rocky, and me and granny gradually started warming up to each other (otp). But uh, granny and I didn't really start becoming good friends until one of Rocky's first major disappearances (sorry if im not remembering this correctly gran but i think thats how it went about). But uh, Granny and I became pretty good friends, and Rocky came back and we were all buddy-buddy (however I was actually pretty secretly jealous of granny and rocky's relationship, because they always seemed way closer than I was with either of them). Ok, actually, i am aware there is a critical time lapse as of now. This happened in 7th-8th grade rofl. But yeah sorry for being side-tracked but I grew extremely close with Granny and Rocky during this time, and even sorta became friends with Fabian. I even came out as a homosexual to Granny and Rocky, the literal first people I ever told that to. I don't think either of them cared but ye, that was the first time in my life I actually felt like I was close to someone. I actually had friends that I could talk to and could feel somewhat invested in each other. For the first time in my life, I was actually pretty happy.

As my golden years with The Spritas went on, everything was actually pretty great. I wasn't that awful at sprite animating, most people perceived me as good for whatever reason. I made some ok? friendships here I guess. Nothing was ever as meaningful as my relationship with Granny and Rocky. I think the closest I came to was my friendship with bdb, although, that didn't really start prospering until the site starting dieing off so that's irrelevant for now. The only notable friendships I made here were with Turner/Long/whatever his name is, Patt, bdb ofc, nds? but im pretty sure i met him on youtube, and theres more im sure but as I said i cant remember everyone. Anyways, most of my time here, I spent admiring people from afar and tried to even become friends with some people, but that never worked out. (this includes people like Ike, YuuMonMuu, shuhan, xkareloaded (although we did talk on skype), DS, etc.)

Anyways, time went on, and, the first notable sign of this site dying to me happened: DarkZero left. I think it was for college? I have no clue honestly. But yeah, we were ok? friends, although right before he left we sorta drifted apart. This was such a huge blow to the site for me. He was a very prominent face of this place, and he just brought so much life into it. Everytime there was like 20 people on the chatango shit it was because of him, he hosted p much every spritas game nights, and he honestly just brought this site to life for me. After this, the site gradually started falling more and more apart. I tried desperately to hold onto the site as the great place it used to be for me. I even became an admin in this time to help work on the site to bring it back to its former glory. But, there was nothing I could honestly do in retrospect. More and more prominent faces kept leaving, some people who said they were still aligned with the site never visited it (leaf 4one), and then there were people who made common departures (rocky & patt).

Anyways, in areas that particularly hurt: Rocky made a very big and sudden departure. I thought he was gone forever. This was a very significant thing to me, I felt like I lost one of my closest friends ever and there was nothing I could do about it. I mean, he came back later, but he did the exact same thing and has yet to come back from it so, its the same pain. During this time, I think my relationship with Granny became even closer than it was before which is saying a lot.

Then, the most important nail in the coffin to the site: Eric just... stopped caring. He literally seemed as if he gave up on the site. I didn't even know how to rationalize that. Like, if the own creator of this site gave up hope for it, why was I desperately clinging to the idea that the site could be fixed, that it could once more be made into all those golden times I used to enjoy? That just, killed off all my hope for this site. After that, I officially recognized it could never once be that golden oasis that I used to escape from my life anymore.

Ok honestly I have the worst memory and can't remember anymore of this to save the life of me, but basically, the site kept dying, and I just kept fighting it. But then, things started changing. My real life situation started improving, I felt left closed off and withdrawn, and, before I knew it, I didn't even need this site anymore. It was no longer the graceful escape I needed from my awful life, because, I no longer needed to escape my life. I even managed to get myself a boyfriend. And with that, I finally accepted this site's fate. I love this site, and I needed this site, but I grew out of it and no longer needed such a crutch. And with that, I accepted that this site was going to die, but the friendships I made here will probably last a long time. Anyways, I left out so many important details I wanted to include, but I honestly can't remember them, sorry guys.


Last edited by Nullard on 4/17/2015, 10:16 pm; edited 1 time in total

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ok      Lorde
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ok      Empty Re: ok

on 4/17/2015, 9:29 pm
And I want to reserve this post for special shoutouts/apologies:

Granny - You are literally best. I'm sorry you had to deal with me all this time. i know I'm an awful big bitch but hey, you stuck with me through it all. You're my closest friend and you've helped me in so many ways you can't imagine.

Rocky - You are so chill and cool and just overall such a great person. I always admired you so much and I know that sounds border-line homoerotic but trust me it wasn't like that. I thought of you like my big brother (I also viewed granny as this too so sorry if I didn't mention that earlier) and I'm sorry we got into so many dumb and pointless arguments. But, if you ever find your way back to me and granny or this site in general, I just want you to know how big the impact you had in my life was, world leader.

BDB - Omg wow!! Our friendships come a long way huh? Initially I thought you were one of those cool people that I would never end up becoming friends with on this site. Suprisingly enough, you're the only real person here who inspires me. Like, you actually still have hope for this place and everything and just wish to bring it back to its former glory. While I do believe you're naive 24/7 with this, I commend you on it. Other than that, I feel like we've became pretty good friends, and I'm sorry for not texting you back I'm very bad with that.

Kai - You were a really good friend to me even though most of the time you pissed me off intentionally. Sorry we had that huge falling out, I don't think we'll ever make up for that but yeah, the time I spent with you was nice. PS: you got me hella addicted to grand chase

Kratos - holy jesus lord christ almighty. My history with you is probably the most complex with anyone on the internet. I remember very early into my time knowing you, I completely idolized you. I thought you were some super cool dude who was too cool to b friends with me :^ (. However, that opinion changed and a lot of the shit you said and did pissed me off. I still found you to be the most entertaining person tho. i still remember trolling randumbs with dank memes with you and it was honestly so much fun. I'm not sure what caused our huge fall-out, but I remember after that I really wanted to fix our friendship, but you seemed completely unwilling to, so we just fell out. :^ ( I'm sorry for whatever it is that caused that.

Strike - You're very random and weird but I still remember you as being one of my first friends on youtube which is kool

Xen - we weren't particularly close or anything, but you were there for me when I had that falling out with kai and everyone, and I wanna thank you for that.

DarkZero - you really pissed me off sometimes but I guess at the end of the day you're the reason i'm here. thanks pal, hope everything went well with your drum line shit

that's all I can really think of, if you post below I might add your name in here if theres a significant reason to


Last edited by Nullard on 4/17/2015, 10:22 pm; edited 3 times in total

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ok      Empty Re: ok

on 4/17/2015, 9:43 pm
It depresses the shit out of me how little we talk now since you're not on Skype much (though you seem to be changing that) anymore. And we're both terrible texters.

I sincerely hope Rocky's actually ok. He was very up and down and seemed like he was going through some crap when he last left (or maybe that was before the last leave, can't remember). He had a bright future, got good grades and stuff and was super friendly.

I dun wanna steal your thunder, although I'm reserving this space for a future wall o' text as well possibly. I'd just like to say I had/have the same "problem" you did with this site, I was basically addicted, and to this day still open this site (or the other one) everytime I open my browser. It really was my home for a long time.

EDIT: So I'm finally getting around to this. A few of you might know this but I doubt most of you do, or will even read this. It'll probably be incredibly badly written and jump all over the place. Oh well, I always liked being off the cuff. Hopefully Fabian or someone I know IRL won't read this. Not that I care or want to hide it, I just don't want anyone pitying me or looking at me differently. I am who I am.

Spoiler:
You guys might remember that girl I'd talk about, Kassandra. I brought her up here ages ago. The first time was probably in the Music Topic, where I mentioned how we sang on the bus together and I was so happy. She's a long story herself, about 2 years long. She was my on-and-off girlfriend for most of that, and I even did stuff with her while I shouldn't have (read: she was taken). She was the love of my life, high school sweetheart, all that good stuff. By the use of past tense it's obvious this isn't the case anymore.

So why does she matter in this? Well I had the great fortune of finding a girlfriend while being depressed (as I've been depressed most of my life), and she was depressed herself as well honestly. Great combination. It should seem obvious where this leads. Being depressed is bad enough, and being with an on-and-off girlfriend (who herself had a lot of bad traits that made it hard on me) really took it's toll on me, but I still made it through. So what was the breaking point?

Well in those "off" times, she wasn't like me. She had ex boyfriends, and she had possible love interests the whole time. I only had her. So when we'd be broken up, she'd go to someone else. All the while she'd say that she still loved me and all that, and I was stupid enough to take it. The breaking point was finally when after she had someone else, she didn't come back, and instead went to possibly one of the worst choices possible for me, which was one of my close friends (we're past that now and basically nothing's changed, dont' worry). She went out with one of my best friends.

I had already been struggling with suicidal tendencies a couple times by then, but that was the breaking point. When she told me that, it was the last straw. I was really good with dates with her (calendar dates), idk why, but I don't remember that date. I just remember the text conversation that threw me over the edge. I told her I was happy for her, and she should be happy and be with him, and I was just fine. In reality I was sobbing uncontrollably, thank God I was home alone. And so I did it. I grabbed the two bottles of pills I had (antidepressants), and chugged 'em. Full intentions, no going back, hesitation but not enough apparently. I was ready.

So why does all that matter? What the hell does that have to do with this topic. Well, I didn't tell anyone. I didn't write some note. I didn't make any kind of action that would be a last "goodbye" to people I knew. I didn't tell her what I was doing. I only told one group of people: The Spritas. I don't know if anyone remembers, and I don't know who replied (I only remember Leo, who said he was basically gonna leave too), but I know the line was basically

"Seeya guys, It's been fun."

I was leaving here because well I was leaving everything. But I couldn't just leave you guys and not say anything. The group I've been with since like 8th grade. It's sad I've basically given up spriting for a long time, I wish I had the resolve to keep going. I really respect you guys who have kept at it, or even gone beyond to animate in 3D and stuff. It's one of the reasons I rarely visited the Animation section, I was kind of ashamed that I quit. I wish this place wasn't in the shape it's been, I always had dreams it'd last forever and I'd even visit a lot of you when I was older and had money. I'd still like to do that. But I couldn't tell you why I was leaving then. And honestly your reactions to my leaving helped me so much, you have no idea. I wish it never came to that, but oh well. It was the truth: this place has given me some of the best times in my life. And even though I might not remember everyone and everything all the time, the memories will always be there.

That was long as hell. Whether or not anyone reads it, or cares, it doesn't matter. It's there, it exists, even if it won't always exist. I'm going through family troubles (like always), and I might be fucked, so I had to get this down. I procrastinated enough. I hope you all succeed in life and your ambitions and stay good people. I honestly do love you all, even those who haven't stuck around and aren't here anymore.


Last edited by Granadico on 6/1/2015, 10:56 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Letting it all out)

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ok      Empty Re: ok

on 4/17/2015, 10:39 pm
And people say you can't form real friendships over the Internet... however, that comes as a double-edged sword because that brings with it not only the joys of friendship, but the sorrows as well.

However, I firmly believe the joys of friendship greatly outweigh the sadness of it and that's why we desperately need this site to come back alive! Not only for our sake, but for the sake of those lost in life and needing a place where they can feel at home when, in life, they don't have such a place.
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ok      Empty Re: ok

on 4/17/2015, 11:07 pm
You know you can always just readd me on skype.
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ok      Empty Re: ok

on 4/17/2015, 11:11 pm
@KaiTatanka wrote:You know you can always just readd me on skype.
honestly i stopped using skype for such a long period of time that i forgot i deleted you in the first place

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ok      Empty Re: ok

on 4/17/2015, 11:18 pm
Nullard wrote:
@KaiTatanka wrote:You know you can always just readd me on skype.
honestly i stopped using skype for such a long period of time that i forgot i deleted you in the first place
Ah. beside im already over the whole fight we had a long time ago.
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ok      Empty Re: ok

on 4/18/2015, 8:37 am
It's always good seeing your giant post, always sincere. I could kinda tell your IRL life was becoming at least decent. All the teeny-bop drama you were going through lately gave me the idea you were going through regular teenage problems. Also, I don't mind the texting thing. I don't mind you only texting me if you're having some sort of issue you need to vent or just really feel like talking.

I'm not entirely sure if this site acted as an escape from my real life. But it was a lot easier being friends with people that you would only have to type to talk to and that had similar interest. I remember leaving the site for like a year or two, and I came back. I don't think I came back to start animating either, cause that never happened.

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ok      Empty Re: ok

on 4/18/2015, 12:22 pm
as leo and I have discussed before, even though this community was small it was really nice having people to talk to and having similar interests. I made good friends here, some closer then others but close friends nonetheless. If I had the money I'd fly to see all of you and give you a pat on the back and a kick in the nuts.

I met a lot of smart people here and honestly helped me a lot throughout high school. I fucking hated high school.

Seriously you guys are awesome, never stop being you.

I'll go into a little more detail when i'm not in class.

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ok      Empty Re: ok

on 4/20/2015, 8:24 pm
@Granadico wrote:I dun wanna steal your thunder, although I'm reserving this space for a future wall o' text as well possibly. I'd just like to say I had/have the same "problem" you did with this site, I was basically addicted, and to this day still open this site (or the other one) everytime I open my browser. It really was my home for a long time.
@SXR123 wrote:I'll go into a little more detail when i'm not in class.
nice

@BDB wrote:It's always good seeing your giant post, always sincere. I could kinda tell your IRL life was becoming at least decent. All the teeny-bop drama you were going through lately gave me the idea you were going through regular teenage problems. Also, I don't mind the texting thing. I don't mind you only texting me if you're having some sort of issue you need to vent or just really feel like talking.

I'm not entirely sure if this site acted as an escape from my real life. But it was a lot easier being friends with people that you would only have to type to talk to and that had similar interest. I remember leaving the site for like a year or two, and I came back. I don't think I came back to start animating either, cause that never happened.
I don't mean to text you only when I have a problem, I'm just genuinely bad at texting. I like honestly forget I haven't texted you back or anything. Also, I don't really mean to talk about drama 24/7 but I feel like we don't have much else to talk about. You're like, really concerned with your future and stuff, and I'm like really concerned with my present and give 0 fucks about the future. I just feel like we don't have a lot to go off of but I still think of us as good friends.

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ok      Empty Re: ok

on 4/27/2015, 11:10 pm
Oh joey....I'll never forget you, I swear it! You\'re too kind
Farewell

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ok      Empty Re: ok

on 4/28/2015, 9:20 am
ɹǝɐןןıʌ wrote:Oh joey....I'll never forget you, I swear it! You\'re too kind
Farewell
you know he isn't dying right

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ok      Empty Re: ok

on 4/28/2015, 10:18 am
deb8able

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ok      Empty Re: ok

on 4/28/2015, 3:42 pm
Idk, kinda sounded like an early resignation notice to me.
Joey.....say it ain't so :^[

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ok      Empty Re: ok

on 4/28/2015, 11:08 pm
We're all slowly dying. That's how we stay alive

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We can hope for the future
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ok      Empty Re: ok

on 4/29/2015, 4:45 pm
@Granadico wrote:We're all slowly dying. That's how we stay alive
That's deep

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ok      Empty Re: ok

on 4/29/2015, 9:14 pm
@BlitznBurst wrote:
@Granadico wrote:We're all slowly dying. That's how we stay alive
That's deep
yeah like balls deep

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ok      Empty Re: ok

on 4/30/2015, 1:47 pm
Dunno if it's you but I think we did MushroomInc together with AS200 or something on YT. Oh and that Naruto88881 guy who turned out to be a thief.

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ok      Empty Re: ok

on 4/30/2015, 2:10 pm
Nullard wrote:
@BlitznBurst wrote:
@Granadico wrote:We're all slowly dying. That's how we stay alive
That's deep
yeah like balls deep
please do not make lewd references that triggers me

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ok      Empty Re: ok

on 4/30/2015, 6:48 pm
@NS01 wrote:Dunno if it's you but I think we did MushroomInc together with AS200 or something on YT. Oh and that Naruto88881 guy who turned out to be a thief.
OH
yeah I knew I was forgetting something like that

Altho I have no idea what happened with him I just knew he was retarded what do you mean by thief

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ok      Empty Re: ok

on 4/30/2015, 7:45 pm
He stole Eric's and Shuhan's animations by uploading it to his Yt and claiming them as his own. Probably stole others too since his skills in Flash increased drastically in a short amount of time

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ok      Empty Re: ok

on 4/30/2015, 9:26 pm
@NS01 wrote:He stole Eric's and Shuhan's animations by uploading it to his Yt and claiming them as his own. Probably stole others too since his skills in Flash increased drastically in a short amount of time

Wow I completely forgot about this. That was so long ago O_O

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ok      Empty Re: ok

on 5/1/2015, 2:07 am
I don't even remember that.

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Rapidfir3Pho3nix
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ok      Empty Re: ok

on 5/1/2015, 2:34 am
I remember that nigga Naruto. Never actually talked to him

I didn't know he stole animations either o.O
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ok      Empty Re: ok

on 5/1/2015, 7:00 am
First time Shuhan uploaded his Goku Vs Vegeta remake it was on his channel the next day! I'm the one who actually noticed first xD

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ok      Empty Re: ok

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