My Battle Animation is complete!

+10
Tray
YoshiSonic
NS01
siothio
BlueShenron
Cooljoshua567
SXR123
mumble1700
Rapidfir3Pho3nix
Raddious
14 posters
Go down
Raddious
Raddious
Spritan
Spritan
Age : 20
Number of posts : 200
Registration date : 2012-06-13
Location : Your mind.

My Battle Animation is complete! - Page 2 Empty Re: My Battle Animation is complete!

10/9/2012, 7:48 pm
(its gettin old isnt it) whatever i just was a rushed guy ok.

___________________________________________________________________________________________

My Battle Animation is complete! - Page 2 Raddio11
I drew this in my boredom...
YoshiSonic
YoshiSonic
Spritan
Spritan
Age : 23
Number of posts : 1302
Registration date : 2010-11-05
Location : Earth

My Battle Animation is complete! - Page 2 Empty Re: My Battle Animation is complete!

10/9/2012, 7:56 pm
Um, really, really choppy i mean, come ON, did you try animating sonic moving left? or up since it was a uppercut, but still even my animation doesn't have text(the one im working on) so good job on your first animation dude, good luck as a spriter. All I can say is work harder on the smoothness and movement and plot. Especially smoothness, sonic look like he vanished. And make it alittle even on powers on each side. And im like 3 years older then you (I ENVY YOUR YOUTH, I wanna be young again) For a 11 year old, im guessing, this wasn't that bad. Good job but not your best. 4/10 for me. Keep up the good work Raddious, keep up the good work, I see potential.

___________________________________________________________________________________________

My Battle Animation is complete! - Page 2 Dancing-happy-yoshi My Battle Animation is complete! - Page 2 259ab217
Cooljoshua567
Cooljoshua567
Spritan
Spritan
Age : 24
Number of posts : 1166
Registration date : 2011-07-21
Location : Power Girl's Breasts

My Battle Animation is complete! - Page 2 Empty Re: My Battle Animation is complete!

10/9/2012, 8:41 pm
Here's the CJ Review on your video

Introduction 0.5/1

It was a fairly nice way to start a battle. Two characters face each other, with voice clips telling one another that I'm going to kick your butt. Although it wasn't bad, it could be alot better. When you introduce a fight like that, make it more cinematic. What I mean by this, is make it more "movie like". By Adding tweens with close ups of the character, it can turn a normal and boring intro, into a cinematic delight.


Combat 1/3

Now, the fight in itself wasn't HORRENDOUS, but to be completely honest, it was bad. It lacked three main key factors in any fight scene which are flow, entertainment, and dominance.

For Flow, it had none. period. The music was off from the fight itself, and it didn't go together. ALWAYS, try to make sure your music fits your choreography, by that I mean, would you play a fucking taylor swift song in a Goku vs Vegeta video? Unless you want to get flamed all day, go fucking right ahead. Just pick a song or beat that match's how fast or how slow your characters are duking it out (but in most cases go with fast, it makes it way more enjoyable)

Entertainment wise.....I was not amused. This was more of a chore to watch, than actually enjoyable itself. There was nothing in the video that made me laugh, chuckle or even smile for that matter. I'm not saying, turn your video into a total laughing stock, but it adds great depth to a video if you spend some extra time adding in some comedic effects.

As for Dominance, it was completely one sided. Sonic only got about like 1 or 2 hits on the tub of lard. The rest of the video was just either Sonic getting raped, or Deino standing there talking shit to him. DONT DO THAT. Don't make characters in the middle of a heated battle stop, to talk shit to one another. It doesn't make sense. If I'm kicking some guy's ass, and a land a good blow on him that makes him fall over, would I just stand there and say "Your weak...get lost". What kind of BS is that? What you should do is, make the characters stop in the middle of the battle, slightly injured so that the audience can take in what they just saw. Then continue.

V cam...I couldn't even tell if there was one. You had basic movements, but that's about it. Integrating the V cam into an animation, can make a shit load of difference in the final product. Rely on it more, since it's there for you.

And I forgot to mention this, the alignment of your black stripes from top to bottom is off, make sure they cover the edges of the v cam.

Effects 1/2

There were only about a grand total of 1-2 effects. Now some may say that's a very good thing, but yea that only works if your a god animator, like Mr Lange. The hitsparks were ok, the flame effect was just choppy, and the explosion looked like there was only one frame of it going on? What's going on in those Movie Clips bro? Are you removing them because you think they will go too fast? I don't know but you need to play the entire explosion, or else it looks like the fight is moving at 1 FPS.

Smoothness and Skewing 0/2

Without a doubt this was your worst section. There was no skewing, no smoothness, no easing. Whenever you make a tween, go down to properties and EASE THE SHIT OUT OF IT. That's why it's there, for you to rape it like no tomorrow. For skewing, just ask about it in a topic or even better yet, search the forums for topics like it, you can find shit loads of people asking "How do I skew".

Sounds 1.5/2

This was your best section, you didn't rape DBZ sound effects, and they were clear and understandable, however that does not excuse you from still using dbz sounds. Just ask and I can send you some of my hit sfx and explosion ones too, it's not all that hard man. Voice clips were good, but for more effect, try making a mouth sprite when they talk. Makes it alot better :)


Overall Score: 4.5/10 = Below Average

Now since this was your first flash animation take all these things I pointed out to you, and burn it into your mind. It will surely help you improve. I'm impressed that you are 11 and making animations, you will be a great animator if you are able to take critiques like this and learn from em.

I haven't seen the other video yet, so until I do my vote is still undecided. Razz



Last edited by Cooljoshua567 on 10/9/2012, 9:46 pm; edited 1 time in total

___________________________________________________________________________________________

The Unstoppable Ala Rubra

My Battle Animation is complete! - Page 2 Ala_Rubra
mumble1700
mumble1700
Spritan
Spritan
Age : 23
Number of posts : 107
Registration date : 2012-09-15

My Battle Animation is complete! - Page 2 Empty Re: My Battle Animation is complete!

10/9/2012, 8:57 pm
.just ask and I can send you some of my hit sfx and explosion ones too, it's not all that hard man.
Mind giving me a link i use dbz sounds but i hear they aren't the ones you should use (could someone explain that to me?)
But i dont want to be a bad spriter so if its not that much of trouble could you maybe send me some of those sound effects too?


___________________________________________________________________________________________

My Battle Animation is complete! - Page 2 Tag13
Cooljoshua567
Cooljoshua567
Spritan
Spritan
Age : 24
Number of posts : 1166
Registration date : 2011-07-21
Location : Power Girl's Breasts

My Battle Animation is complete! - Page 2 Empty Re: My Battle Animation is complete!

10/9/2012, 9:34 pm
@mumble1700 wrote:.just ask and I can send you some of my hit sfx and explosion ones too, it's not all that hard man.
Mind giving me a link i use dbz sounds but i hear they aren't the ones you should use (could someone explain that to me?)
But i dont want to be a bad spriter so if its not that much of trouble could you maybe send me some of those sound effects too?


Sure no problem man, I'll hit you guys up with my best sfx, after I finish my homeowork

___________________________________________________________________________________________

The Unstoppable Ala Rubra

My Battle Animation is complete! - Page 2 Ala_Rubra
Tray
Tray
Spritan
Spritan
Age : 28
Number of posts : 175
Registration date : 2012-05-26

My Battle Animation is complete! - Page 2 Empty Re: My Battle Animation is complete!

10/9/2012, 9:34 pm
@Cooljoshua567 wrote:Here's the CJ Review on your video

Introduction 0.5/1

It was a fairly nice way to start a battle. Two characters face each other, with voice clips telling one another that I'm going to kick your butt. Although it wasn't bad, it could be alot better. When you introduce a fight like that, make it more cinematic. What I mean by this, is make it more "movie like". By Adding tweens with close ups of the character, it can turn a normal and boring intro, into a cinematic delight.


Combat 1/3

Now, the fight in itself wasn't HORRENDOUS, but to be completely honest, it was bad. It lacked three main key factors in any fight scene which are flow, entertainment, and dominance.

For Flow, it had none. period. The music was off from the fight itself, and it didn't go together. ALWAYS, try to make sure your music fits your choreography, by that I mean, would you play a fucking taylor swift song in a Goku vs Vegeta video? Unless you want to get flamed all day, go fucking right ahead. Just pick a song or beat that match's how fast or how slow your characters are duking it out (but in most cases go with fast, it makes it way more enjoyable)

Entertainment wise.....I was not amused. This was more of a chore to watch, than actually enjoyable itself. There was nothing in the video that made me laugh, chuckle or even smile for that matter. I'm not saying, turn your video into a total laughing stock, but it adds great depth to a video if you spend some extra time adding in some comedic effects.

As for Dominance, it was completely one sided. Sonic only got about like 1 or 2 hits on the tub of lard. The rest of the video was just either Sonic getting raped, or Deino standing there talking shit to him. DONT DO THAT. Don't make characters in the middle of a heated battle stop, to talk shit to one another. It doesn't make sense. If I'm kicking some guy's ass, and a land a good blow on him that makes him fall over, would I just stand there and say "Your weak...get lost". What kind of BS is that? What you should do is, make the characters stop in the middle of the battle, slightly injured so that the audience can take in what they just saw. Then continue.

V cam...I couldn't even tell if there was one. You had basic movements, but that's about it. Integrating the V cam into an animation, can make a shit load of difference in the final product. Rely on it more, since it's there for you.

Effects 1/2

There were only about a grand total of 1-2 effects. Now some may say that's a very good thing, but yea that only works if your a god animator, like Mr Lange. The hitsparks were ok, the flame effect was just choppy, and the explosion looked like there was only one frame of it going on? What's going on in those Movie Clips bro? Are you removing them because you think they will go too fast? I don't know but you need to play the entire explosion, or else it looks like the fight is moving at 1 FPS.

Smoothness and Skewing 0/2

Without a doubt this was your worst section. There was no skewing, no smoothness, no easing. Whenever you make a tween, go down to properties and EASE THE SHIT OUT OF IT. That's why it's there, for you to rape it like no tomorrow. For skewing, just ask about it in a topic or even better yet, search the forums for topics like it, you can find shit loads of people asking "How do I skew".

Sounds 1.5/2

This was your best section, you didn't rape DBZ sound effects, and they were clear and understandable, however that does not excuse you from still using dbz sounds. Just ask and I can send you some of my hit sfx and explosion ones too, it's not all that hard man. Voice clips were good, but for more effect, try making a mouth sprite when they talk. Makes it alot better :)


Overall Score: 4.5/10 = Below Average

Now since this was your first flash animation take all these things I pointed out to you, and burn it into your mind. It will surely help you improve. I'm impressed that you are 11 and making animations, you will be a great animator if you are able to take critiques like this and learn from em.

I haven't seen the other video yet, so until I do my vote is still undecided. Razz



This Guy ^^^ Cool

Dont need anymore reviews

___________________________________________________________________________________________






SXR123
SXR123
Administrator
Administrator
Age : 27
Number of posts : 11632
Registration date : 2010-03-07
Location : You know, a place.
https://www.youtube.com/user/sonicXrules123

My Battle Animation is complete! - Page 2 Empty Re: My Battle Animation is complete!

10/9/2012, 9:37 pm
Josh's pretty much got this down. I would've given it a lower score mostly because I don't like how things happened and how one sided it was.

but I josh did a good job, so I say give it up for the man with... a J in his name... I dunno. good job josh.

___________________________________________________________________________________________

My Battle Animation is complete! - Page 2 Accelerator_signature_by_kyuubi03-d3aqkga

ADOPT A CHAO!!
(figuratively speaking of course)
Cooljoshua567
Cooljoshua567
Spritan
Spritan
Age : 24
Number of posts : 1166
Registration date : 2011-07-21
Location : Power Girl's Breasts

My Battle Animation is complete! - Page 2 Empty Re: My Battle Animation is complete!

10/9/2012, 9:43 pm
@SXR123 wrote:Josh's pretty much got this down. I would've given it a lower score mostly because I don't like how things happened and how one sided it was.

but I josh did a good job, so I say give it up for the man with... a J in his name... I dunno. good job josh.

ahaha, thanks man, I learned from Ping on how to pick up on those kind of things, and being a critique is fun Razz

Yea, so radius take what I've said and apply it to your next animation, i'll be waiting for it

___________________________________________________________________________________________

The Unstoppable Ala Rubra

My Battle Animation is complete! - Page 2 Ala_Rubra
D3Anims
D3Anims
Spritan
Spritan
Age : 27
Number of posts : 6288
Registration date : 2010-09-09
Location : Blowin shit up with Kurbi

My Battle Animation is complete! - Page 2 Empty Re: My Battle Animation is complete!

10/9/2012, 10:14 pm
This was not an easy one to stomach

@SXR123 wrote:plot is one thing, but the fact that you undermine sonic in such a way... rghioahoihd

makes me rage.
Quit raging you furry

___________________________________________________________________________________________

My Battle Animation is complete! - Page 2 Untitl11
SXR123
SXR123
Administrator
Administrator
Age : 27
Number of posts : 11632
Registration date : 2010-03-07
Location : You know, a place.
https://www.youtube.com/user/sonicXrules123

My Battle Animation is complete! - Page 2 Empty Re: My Battle Animation is complete!

10/9/2012, 10:30 pm
@D3Anims wrote:This was not an easy one to stomach

@SXR123 wrote:plot is one thing, but the fact that you undermine sonic in such a way... rghioahoihd

makes me rage.
Quit raging you furry

fuck your shit.

no on treats sonic like that and gets away with it.

___________________________________________________________________________________________

My Battle Animation is complete! - Page 2 Accelerator_signature_by_kyuubi03-d3aqkga

ADOPT A CHAO!!
(figuratively speaking of course)
D3Anims
D3Anims
Spritan
Spritan
Age : 27
Number of posts : 6288
Registration date : 2010-09-09
Location : Blowin shit up with Kurbi

My Battle Animation is complete! - Page 2 Empty Re: My Battle Animation is complete!

10/9/2012, 11:09 pm
@SXR123 wrote:
@D3Anims wrote:This was not an easy one to stomach

@SXR123 wrote:plot is one thing, but the fact that you undermine sonic in such a way... rghioahoihd

makes me rage.
Quit raging you furry

fuck your shit.

no on treats sonic like that and gets away with it.
Pssh, If I was ever gonna fuck shit, Id be fucking Sonic as we speak
...trololololol

___________________________________________________________________________________________

My Battle Animation is complete! - Page 2 Untitl11
Aegyo
Aegyo
Spritan
Spritan
Age : 23
Number of posts : 56
Registration date : 2012-09-25
Location : On a pirate ship

My Battle Animation is complete! - Page 2 Empty Re: My Battle Animation is complete!

10/9/2012, 11:29 pm
@sxr, let it all out man! Say whatcha mean.
@Rad eh, I know I'm barely one to talk, but I think you got lazy with it, started out ready and raring and then kinda collapsed, I know how I think you feel.
@everyone, wtf is this skewing you speak of, could someone please fill me in so I don't majorly screw up..... Thanks

___________________________________________________________________________________________

My Battle Animation is complete! - Page 2 HFBmxMy Battle Animation is complete! - Page 2 Dso2uMy Battle Animation is complete! - Page 2 HFBmx
D3Anims
D3Anims
Spritan
Spritan
Age : 27
Number of posts : 6288
Registration date : 2010-09-09
Location : Blowin shit up with Kurbi

My Battle Animation is complete! - Page 2 Empty Re: My Battle Animation is complete!

10/9/2012, 11:31 pm
@Aegyo wrote:
@everyone, wtf is this skewing you speak of, could someone please fill me in so I don't majorly screw up..... Thanks
Skewing is slightly tilting your sprite in a direction to add a sense of actualy movement rather than the sprite simply changing randomly

Theres some skewing in my Kurbi Movement test, check it out(because I didnt post it for it to be ignored motherfuckers)

Skewing should always be slight and quick, 2-3 frames max. Depending on the fps, it may be barely or very noticable, but it adds fluidity to sprites which overall are stiff by nature

___________________________________________________________________________________________

My Battle Animation is complete! - Page 2 Untitl11
Aegyo
Aegyo
Spritan
Spritan
Age : 23
Number of posts : 56
Registration date : 2012-09-25
Location : On a pirate ship

My Battle Animation is complete! - Page 2 Empty Re: My Battle Animation is complete!

10/10/2012, 3:14 am
Skewing is slightly tilting your sprite in a direction to add a sense of actualy movement rather than the sprite simply changing randomly

Theres some skewing in my Kurbi Movement test, check it out(because I didnt post it for it to be ignored motherfuckers)

Skewing should always be slight and quick, 2-3 frames max. Depending on the fps, it may be barely or very noticable, but it adds fluidity to sprites which overall are stiff by nature

Thanks, and rad
YOU'RE
YOU ' RE
the grammar killed it for me

___________________________________________________________________________________________

My Battle Animation is complete! - Page 2 HFBmxMy Battle Animation is complete! - Page 2 Dso2uMy Battle Animation is complete! - Page 2 HFBmx
Face
Face
Spritan
Spritan
Age : 32
Number of posts : 13013
Registration date : 2010-04-29
Location : Returned-ed

My Battle Animation is complete! - Page 2 Empty Re: My Battle Animation is complete!

10/10/2012, 7:21 am
@SXR123 wrote:
@D3Anims wrote:This was not an easy one to stomach

@SXR123 wrote:plot is one thing, but the fact that you undermine sonic in such a way... rghioahoihd

makes me rage.
Quit raging you furry

fuck your shit.

no on treats sonic like that and gets away with it.

Oh my god,Im gonna have Mojo shit in sonic's mouth, quit yo bitchin!

Look kid the animation was slow,the attacks had no impact,it was choppy,it dragged on, DEM DBZ sounds,CAM movement needs work,like you didn't really move it at all.but I will say this you got the basics down you can put sprites in flash and make them move,but not much else. what you need more then anything else right now is experience, so this is what you do....Animate. Animate like crazy any and all ideas you have ever had put them in flash.And every time you finish one put it on here.show it to us,we shall give you pointers and recommendations,and tell you your flaws.Learn from us,Learn from yourself,continue animating till you get it right. thats it go play


.....(LOL @ SXR LEAVE SONIC ALONE!!!!)

___________________________________________________________________________________________

My Battle Animation is complete! - Page 2 Untitl15
NS01
NS01
Spritan
Spritan
Age : 28
Number of posts : 6082
Registration date : 2009-09-07
Location : UK england

My Battle Animation is complete! - Page 2 Empty Re: My Battle Animation is complete!

10/10/2012, 8:23 am
also NS, fuck you. an official character doesn't lose to a fan character by any means. and I mean this about ALL official characters, not just sonic. if it was kirby I would say the same thing and same goes for mario.

Awwh, did I get you butthurt?

The animator can do whatever the fuck he wants with the characters. I don't really care if he beheaded Mario. Since when was that a rule? What bullshit you just said.

But yeah. Sonic is Mario's little blue whore. hurrhurr

___________________________________________________________________________________________

"On my business card, I am a corporate president. In my mind, I am a game developer. But in my heart, I am a gamer." - Satoru Iwata 1959-2015
D3Anims
D3Anims
Spritan
Spritan
Age : 27
Number of posts : 6288
Registration date : 2010-09-09
Location : Blowin shit up with Kurbi

My Battle Animation is complete! - Page 2 Empty Re: My Battle Animation is complete!

10/10/2012, 10:02 am
@NS01 wrote:hurrhurr
Derp slurp-a-burp

___________________________________________________________________________________________

My Battle Animation is complete! - Page 2 Untitl11
xKAreloadedx
xKAreloadedx
Spritan
Spritan
Age : 29
Number of posts : 1522
Registration date : 2010-07-20
Location : I forgot...

My Battle Animation is complete! - Page 2 Empty Re: My Battle Animation is complete!

10/10/2012, 10:14 am
Alright, so from the looks of it. This sux, really really bad. BUT Thats the good thing, you have a LOT of room for improvement and that's what will make you better. The others have pretty much said what was wrong with it so Im not going to go into that. All I can say, is keep at it and you'll get better

SXR: I agree with you on the point that it kinda didn't make sense for sonic to get done in so easily but like NS said, a fan-character does not have to be weaker than the original EVER, while it would be preferrable, the point of a fan-character is to create something that's to YOUR personally liking, based off an original character. If they want them to be GOD then well, that's their choice (nobody likes overpowered chars that can't lose anyway, so there's a catch). I mean, what's the point of making a fan-character if you can't make him how you wanted him to be? So, I say. Leave it alone, bitchin about it wont change the movie, its already done. If you're not goin to give him some helpful advice then, keep it to yourself. And NS...you're such a trollolol Laughing

___________________________________________________________________________________________

Current projects:
Kirbacus vs Hiryo 30% Kirbacus vs Link 50%
Guardian's revenge 40% Rio vs Zeke 10%
Hiryo's Quest 2 10% Special vid 70%
Back to top
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum